Prop plane, Texas tarmac
This is America.
We love big. We love big cars. And for some reason we love to give these big cars names and pretend that they share interests with us.
One of the most American of all visions is traffic crawling across a highway, a glinting mass of SUVs as far as the eye can see. And half of these SUVs will inevitably screech “W!” while the other half bleats “Impeach Bush!” from little blue or red thought bubbles plastered across their asses.
From sea to shining sea, big cars are getting fed up with your stupid politics.
In northern California the cars are very concerned about meat and murder and murdering meat.
In Kansas the cars are increasingly worried about abortion and murder and murdering abortion.
In Texas the airplanes, excluded for too long from serious political discourse, have finally joined the fray.
Walking into a prop plane on a dusty Austin runway you can’t help but absorb the consternating splendor of a large, aggressively flaggy sticker by the door declaring that Americans support Iraq. This is the way the plane has chosen to communicate to you its feelings regarding the war. This is one airplane that is entirely fed up with your liberal spineless defeatism and isn’t afraid to say so. Got a problem with that, pal? Eh, buddy? Well too bad hippie, the plane can’t hear you scream.
Inside the passenger is a middle aged blonde with a fur collared coat. Crystal the flight attendant is young with bright skin, long hair in cornrows and a smile slung cheek to cheek.
Crystal: Red or white?
Passenger: What kind of wine is it?
Crystal: Red, or white.
Passenger: What kind of wine is the white?
Crystal: I dunno, I don't drink that stuff. I think it's like… sha… sha…
Passenger: Chablis, chardonnay…?
Crystal: Sha... sha... champagne, I think.
Passenger: Champagne.
Crystal: Yeah, maybe champagne. I dunno. I don't drink it.
Passenger: Does it have bubbles? Is it bubbly wine or just regular wine?
Crystal: Yeah, um...
Passenger: Does it have bubbles like soda?
Crystal: Look, I dunno.
Passenger: … because I'll drink anything but merlot.
